In honor of Valentine’s Day, I am posting the following essay that I had originally written several years ago in the forums on CatholicMatch that was in response to a general question about whether it is better to “Wait and see” or “Move fast” in a relationship.
“Love is like a compost pile for your garden. You have your single guy looking for a single gal. They both come with their respective life experiences, successes and failures. All this stuff gets added to the composting pile of their developing relationship.
Now, if the contributions are added patiently, in the correct amount and mixed together in the proper manner, then the compost pile grows and builds and heats up slowly, gradually turning the mutual contributions of the guy and gal into a wonderful blend of matter that happy little kidlets can grow in.
But, if the contributions to the compost pile are not added properly, but unevenly (too much of the guy and not enough of the gal, or vice versa) then the compost pile still grows and blends the material, but due to the ill-matched composition, the pile becomes a burning mass of refuse that no one wants to go near. If this compost pile is used for a garden, then happy little kidlets will not grow, just a mess of icky stuff that reflects the imbalance of the compost pile makers.
So, “Wait and see” is better. Best find someone not impatient, but is willing to slowly and gradually mix her stuff in with my stuff and nurture the slowly heating compost.”