Category Archives: Me

Writing to discover

In my exploration of the culture of Catholic writing, I’ve been reading Flannery O’Connor.

I find much inspiration in her approach to writing as a Catholic and I’ve discovered two quotes of hers that I can relate to. I think all writers need inspiring quotes from other writers to keep themselves going. 😉

I have to write to discover what I am doing. Like the old lady, I don’t know so well what I think until I see what I say; then I have to say it again.

I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say.

Both are via QOTD.org.

I’ve discovered what Miss O’Connor talks about stir within me as I write. I sometimes do not know where I am going with the plot until the plot itself takes me there. This may sound odd, but I think other writers will understand this.

While I am writing, stuff from deep within me wells up from its dwelling place and pours forth into the story. It could be something autobiographical, some minor bit from my past brought out for character or plot development, or something I’ve read that is an interest of mine that fills a need for the story.

Like the novel that I’m working in that I mentioned in this post. The original story idea was to explore why something at work might have happened; but the story has borrowed heavily from my beliefs and interests. I had no idea that they’d have to be made manifest in it. This might make more sense if I discussed the particular story details, but I’m not going to for the moment. The story started out as one thing, and as I wondered about this or that, I just drew upon miscellaneous knowledge of mine, and finally they’ve fleshed out the plot to be something greater than the original intent. The original idea is still there and is at the crux of the plot. But the novel is becoming so much more than the original idea.

And I’m loving the fact that as the story is progressing, plotlines are now coalescing into a cohesive whole; there are coming together at an appropriate point to give the novel direction. Rather than a whole bunch of different plots all contained in the same file, they are now giving the novel its identity. Meaning, I think I’m at that point where readers will enter into the “meat” of the plot. All the main characters have been introduced, the plots laid down and now stuff is happening to drive it forward towards its conclusion.

Which I have no idea how it will end, but thats OK. Based upon what Miss O’Connor said up above, the ending is somewhere within me, waiting to be discovered.

To paraphrase Miss O’Connor: I will write the novel to discover what the ending is. I won’t know what the ending is until I see it. (And this next may fall under my belief that “writing is therapy”, and I won’t paraphrase her, but repeat the quote): I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say.

Are you a creative Catholic? "The Catholicpunk Manifesto" is my new book exhorting Catholics to apply their faith to change the culture for the better!

Know someone, perhaps yourself, who might like Catholic devotionals for alcoholics? Please take a look at my books! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

I, Blog

For a blog that’s supposed to be my “main” online journal, this place doesn’t get a whole lotta love. I’m a writer, and writers are “supposed to” have a website or blog or some sort of online presence. Granted, as a writer I only have two books published and those are selfies, but there’s more to come! I always figured that with the passage of time and writing success (or effort), this place will see more activity.

Or maybe not. Whatever, I decided to do some geeking around with the site (notice that I haven’t called it by name, yet).

For starters, the “name.” I figured I’ll simplify matters and just call it “Paul Sofranko’s Blog.” It’s short, and to the point. I’m Paul Sofranko, and this is my blog. Of course, I have others, but those are specialized, “niche” blogs. (Links are in the Page tabs up top, below the title of this place.)

“Paul Sofranko’s Blog” isn’t very imaginative, but it’s less pretentious than previous names: “Writer for God,” “In the Land of My Exile I Praise Him.” “Paul Sofranko Dot Net” might have served again, but it’s just a notch higher than a minimalist, simplistic title I was looking for. 😉

The purpose, such as there is one, of “Paul Sofranko’s Blog” will not change; still a place for me to post stuff on writing, reading and whatever miscellaneous ramblings that serve as my interests and that won’t fit into my two niche blogs.

Don’t come here looking for profound, insightful commentary on current events, Catholic or secular. There are plenty of blogs for that written by people who have the time to work out such posts for online publication. Such writings, for me, take time away from the fiction efforts I am trying to work with, as well as other writing and blogging work. I know my strengths and limitations, and I prefer to focus my thoughtful efforts where they’re best capable of being useful. Although I do reserve the right to do that here when the impulse occurs. But I have a full-time job that has nothing to do with writing or blogging for a living, and other personal responsibilities and commitments. In other words there’s a nice life that’s mine and it happens!

Are you a creative Catholic? "The Catholicpunk Manifesto" is my new book exhorting Catholics to apply their faith to change the culture for the better!

Know someone, perhaps yourself, who might like Catholic devotionals for alcoholics? Please take a look at my books! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Jesus in the Ashes

Ash Wednesday was two days ago, and I took this webcam picture of myself as a part of the annual #ashtag fun. You basically take pictures of yourself after recieving ashes and post them to social media.

This was mine:

 #ashtag2014

A friend of mine on Facebook sees an image of Jesus on the Cross in the ashes. Others, myself included, can see Him also. A miracle! (Just kidding.)

Please, no need to make pilgrimmages to my forehead, the ashes are long gone.

Kinda neat to see such things. I wonder what they mean?

Are you a creative Catholic? "The Catholicpunk Manifesto" is my new book exhorting Catholics to apply their faith to change the culture for the better!

Know someone, perhaps yourself, who might like Catholic devotionals for alcoholics? Please take a look at my books! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Death sucks

Death sucks.

Someone, be they a human person or an animal person, is in your life for years, then they’re not. And it’s not like they moved to some far off strange place like California, where you can still email, Skype or Facebook with them. The distance they travelled is measured not in miles or kilometers. But in time.

It’s a wide chasm. We may take a few more years or decades to get to the point where we can cross it. That is a part of the chasm separating those on the other side from us. But forgetting the amount of time between now and when we die, that chasm is just huge. They’re in eternity. We’re not.

But there’s a hole left behind. That space in your life that they filled is now empty. They are no longer there. That space can’t be filled by anyone else.

This post was caused by the death of our cat, “Mr. Onyx,” whom I nicknamed “SpeedBump.” He died this morning. He’s the black kitteh in the picture. The cutie on the right is his girlfriend, Jerrie. Nice headshot of him is right after.

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I nicknamed Mr. Onyx, “SpeedBump,” after his penchant for laying right between wherever anyone was sitting and wherever a doorway is, as well as slowly walking down the hallway before you.

We don’t know how old he was as we didn’t get him as a kitten. His previous human died from cancer and untreated alcoholism and we took him in as no one else could.

He lived with my wife and I for almost exactly 6 years.

He is survived by two other kittehs, Jerrie and Ninja.

He had an amazing impact on our lives, bringing much joy, love and FUN into them.

We will bury him in a Mary Garden, next to our house, and we’ll plant stuff around him that would attract the birds and bunnies he so loved to watch from the patio window.

Where are our beloved pets, after their death? That is for another post. But Mr. Onyx’s death is really hitting me. The death of a pet in not inconsequential.

Pets matter.

Additional NOTE: This is a “retropost,” a post from an old blog I wrote on “The Four Last Things: Death, Judgment, Heaven (& Purgatory) and Hell” that I shuttered a few years ago. Individual posts are being transferred to either In Exile or Sober Catholic, whichever seems appropriate. Some are backdated, others postdated, some edited, in case you’re confused as to why you never saw a particular post if you’re a diligent reader. The process should be completed by early 2022.

Are you a creative Catholic? "The Catholicpunk Manifesto" is my new book exhorting Catholics to apply their faith to change the culture for the better!

Know someone, perhaps yourself, who might like Catholic devotionals for alcoholics? Please take a look at my books! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Artistic Temperament is a Disease

“The artistic temperament is a disease that afflicts amateurs. It is a disease which arises from men not having sufficient power of expression to utter and get rid of the element of art in their being. It is healthful to every sane man to utter the art within him; it is essential to every sane man to get rid of the art within him at all costs. Artists of a large and wholesome vitality get rid of their art easily, as they breathe easily, or perspire easily. But in artists of less force, the thing becomes a pressure, and produces a definite pain, which is called the artistic temperament. Thus, the very great artists are able to be ordinary men – men like Shakespeare or Browning. There are many real tragedies of the artistic temperament, tragedies of vanity or violence or fear. But the great tragedy of the artistic temperament is that it cannot produce any art.” ~GK Chesterton, Heretics, 1905

A Facebook friend (and one from whom I learn much) posted this Chesterton quote in a debate thread.

It explains a lot (the quote, not the debate). I find it healthful to “utter the art from within;” however I fail to utter more often than I do utter. I aspire to write, and do so, but I don’t write more often than I do write. Such is the tired refrain of many so-called and self-referenced “aspiring writers.” We want to write, but don’t, and perhaps from that comes this “artistic temperament,” one of “vanity or violence or fear?” Vanity: the desire for the “writing life;” violence: the resulting self-loathing and esteem-reduction from failing to do what you’re supposed to; fear: fear of failure, that of discovering that you are horrible at writing, and maybe fear of success?

The funny thing is that I find writing to be therapeutic. I feel better after having done so and thus become the “sane man” when I “utter the art from within.” This partly stems from a feeling of accomplishment. “Hey, I wrote today!” Partly it comes from just the emotional and psychological release.

Perhaps this is a successor to my alcoholism. I knew I should stop drinking and why, but I feared doing so. I also lacked the strength or will to stop. I only did so because no other choice was offered. I was unable to physically go and replenish my stock and thus found myself in the hospital with DT’s. If I continued, I would die. So maybe the choice was helped along.

The parallel to writing? “No other choice but to write.” I have to develop the “sufficient power of expression to utter and get rid of the element of art in” my “being.” And I have to associate this need with sanity and survival.

I am a writer, it is what I (should) do, and to not do it is a type of death.

Interesting notion; now let’s see me put it to use.

From Isaac Asimov:

“I write for the same reason I breathe … because if I didn’t, I would die.”

“If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn’t brood. I’d type a little faster.”

Are you a creative Catholic? "The Catholicpunk Manifesto" is my new book exhorting Catholics to apply their faith to change the culture for the better!

Know someone, perhaps yourself, who might like Catholic devotionals for alcoholics? Please take a look at my books! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

For the first time in about a quarter century…

… I may be submitting a short story for publication.

I last did that back in the 1980s, without success. I forget how many stories I submitted, but it was a single digit number.

If this is surprising given all my talk about my writing aspirations, let’s just say that I probably expanded the frontier of reasons for “not having written,” at least successfully.

The last time I actually submitted anything for consideration was a spec script for the TV series, “Star Trek: The Next Generation” in 1991. I am not counting that in my quarter century mark as it wasn’t an original short story of mine (original story idea, yes. But not original to me as Star Trek is someone else’s universe.) The script wasn’t purchased by the Star Trek people, obviously. If so, life would have taken a very different path. But it was rejected and I subsequently became distracted by trying to achieve self-reliance and a decent income with real day jobs while living in Southern California. After 4 years I left, then basically gave up writing for over a decade. I also drank for most of that time. Writers stereotypically are noted for being drinkers. Leave it to me to give up writing and take up drinking, or take up writing while NOT drinking. 😉

Earlier this week I awakened from a nap with a vision and an opening line in my head. I decided to take and run with it, and the result is an 1800ish-word short fiction piece which I think is suitable for the online magazine Daily Science Fiction. I spent a considerable amount of time reading the stories they’ve already published (they’re archived) and I honestly think that “Cold Creations” is a fit, and is comparable in writing quality.

Nevertheless, I am faced with the raw, naked terror of doing this. What if it’s rejected? WHAT IF IT’S PURCHASED?!?!?!?!? At long last, my dream of finally being called a professional writer, and a science-fiction one at that, may be achieved. My heart may not survive the shock of the pent-up decades-long wait. 😉

Daily Science Fiction is a fine online magazine for people who enjoy reading good science-fiction, fantasy and all related subgenres. It’s free to read, either online or email subscription. They also pay well, $.08 a word.

Are you a creative Catholic? "The Catholicpunk Manifesto" is my new book exhorting Catholics to apply their faith to change the culture for the better!

Know someone, perhaps yourself, who might like Catholic devotionals for alcoholics? Please take a look at my books! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

In the Land of My Exile I Praise Him…

I’ve renamed this blog. Why? because I thought it was a little conceited to name it after myself, even though it is mine and is intended to be “my home on the web,” for general “woolgathering, sharing and writing.”

The new name is from the Old Testament Book of Tobit, Chapter 16, part of verse 6:

Tobit 13:6

“When you turn back to him with all your heart, to do what is right before him, Then he will turn back to you, and no longer hide his face from you. So now consider what he has done for you, and praise him with full voice. Bless the Lord of righteousness, and exalt the King of the ages. In the land of my exile I praise him, and show his power and majesty to a sinful nation. “Turn back, you sinners! do the right before him: perhaps he may look with favor upon you and show you mercy.”

(Via USCCB.)

As a faithful Catholic who reads the Bible, I fully understand that life on Earth is a life in exile. Our true home is Heaven, and that land is where we trudge towards on our daily journey.

As a writer and blogger, I seek to employ my talents, whatever they are, to Praise the Lord. He gave me what talents I possess, and therefore I hope to use them to glorify Him.

Hence the name of this blog.

Are you a creative Catholic? "The Catholicpunk Manifesto" is my new book exhorting Catholics to apply their faith to change the culture for the better!

Know someone, perhaps yourself, who might like Catholic devotionals for alcoholics? Please take a look at my books! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Me, on the radio!

I was on the “‘On Call”’ with Wendy Wiese” radio show yesterday. It went well. Wendy Wiese is an excellent host and made me feel at ease. There was a 10 minute interview with me followed by my fielding calls from the listeners. “Faith and Sobriety” was the topic, which was why I was called to participate.

This link is the archives of previous shows, including mine. Just follow the instructions on the page to download the show. Or, just use this link to listen (it starts playing right away, so be sure to have headphones or else be alone: Paul Sofranko appearance for May 1, 2013.

There’s a chance I may reappear, if so, information will be posted here.

It is really strange hearing yourself on the radio, I wanted to shout once or twice, “What the heck do YOU know, buddy?” until I realized I was only yelling at myself.

Are you a creative Catholic? "The Catholicpunk Manifesto" is my new book exhorting Catholics to apply their faith to change the culture for the better!

Know someone, perhaps yourself, who might like Catholic devotionals for alcoholics? Please take a look at my books! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Faith, Justice and Matthew 25

Since the year began I’ve taken a greater, more focused interest in Matthew 25: 31-46, the Gospel account known as the “Last Judgment.” In it, Jesus tells people what will happen at The End when He returns to judge all nations. From it, The Catholic Church derives the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy.

They are:

Corporal Works of Mercy

Feed the hungry

Give drink to the thirsty

Shelter the Homeless

Clothe the naked

Visit the Sick

Visit the imprisoned

Bury the dead

Spiritual Works of Mercy

Correct the sinner

Instruct the ignorant

Counsel the doubting

Comfort the sorrowful

Be patient with those in error

Forgive offenses

Pray for the living and the dead

I’ve also taken to reading as a part of my early morning devotionals two books that are a collection of writings from Blessed Theresa of Calcutta (“Mother Theresa”). Naturally, they are frequently about the poor and marginalized, and our responsibilities towards them. I am also slowly making my way through a book on the spiritual and intellectual underpinnings of the Catholic Worker Movement. The Beatitudes and Matthew 25 were their modus operandi.

On Sober Catholic I’ve been writing about these Works of Mercy (partly in connection with helping my wife, Rose, sell products emblazoned with them. A portion of the proceeds goes to life-affirming charities).

I’m volunteering at a thrift store and food pantry.

Rose and I, along with a sister of hers, are also considering the idea of opening a thrift store, somewhere. Not a short-term goal, but hopefully sometime this year.

I’ve also been spending quite a bit of time on Facebook “Liking” Pages and joining Groups that reflect the values associated with Matthew 25. Not many are Catholic or Christian, but that’s besides the point. Pages related to organic gardening, small-scale farming, homesteading, frugal living, simplicity (not immediately obvious how these are related to Matthew 25, but in a direct or indirect sense, they are.) I’ve been doing the same on Google+, but as of now, there’s fewer such resources.

Not sure where this is all going, but stuff seems to be coming together in an expression of the Catholic Faith that is faithful to the orthodox teaching of the Church and Her Authority, as well as a combination of Her moral teachings (stereotypically described as “conservative”) and Her social teachings (stereotypically described as “liberal”). The usual things I’ve been interested in such as the pro-life movement; but also “strange” things like “Distributism,” “subsidiarity,” and “solidarity.”

I may be writing about them from time to time.

Are you a creative Catholic? "The Catholicpunk Manifesto" is my new book exhorting Catholics to apply their faith to change the culture for the better!

Know someone, perhaps yourself, who might like Catholic devotionals for alcoholics? Please take a look at my books! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

November Writing (Nanowrimo)

This is November, and among those who aspire or perspire to be writers, that means one thing: Nanowrimo. Nanowrimo is “NAtional NOvel WRIting MOnth.” It is an exercise in writing insanity dating back to the late 1990s in which participants attempt to write a 50,000 word novel during November’s 30 days. Obviously this novel would be a very rough draft, only the ignorant or seriously delusional would think the completed project would be anything other than garbage.

 

I tried it in 2006 and failed miserably. I think I started something, made it to 1,500 words, didn’t like that switched to something else, made it to 1,700 words, and finally decided that there was no chance I’d succeed.

 

I had planned on doing it this year, even signed up at the site: My Nanowrimo profile. But in the end I decided to bow out before beginning…

 

…and then I was driving home today from an impromptu Holy Hour at my parish. I was mulling over my backlog of blog posts and decided that a variant of Nanwrimo can assist me in clearing it out. And so I will attempt to utilize the spirit of Nanowrimo and if not write 50,000 words across my 3 blogs, at least get to somewhere in the 5 figure range.

 

It may not be completely impossible. This is November, the “Month of the Dead,” and one of my blogs, The Four Last Things is typically due for some major work during it.

 

Add that I can use this blog for daily musing and filler, and my first blog Sober Catholic is where the bulk of the backlog is, and I can get to somewhere in the 5 figure range!

 

I can also work on the novel I had planned on using for Nanowrimo, albeit in a more traditional method (100’s of words, maybe daily.)

OK, so that’s it. I’m gonna try it. On to the Nanowrimo site and update my profile and join the rebel group. (Nanowrimo rebels are, from what I can see, a bunch of Nanowrimo’s who break the simple rules of the organization (which are basically that you have to write and original novel, and that you cannot begin the prose work on it until midnight of November 1st. You can do research, write backstories, character sketches and outline, but no actual novel writing until the stroke of November begins.)

 

So now I will run off to the Nanowrimo site and update my profile and join the rebels!! (I will be an honest rebel, though. I will only claim “Participant” status should I actually blog 50,000 words, or come reasonably close to blogging daily and get that 5-figure word count. I’ll also admit that I didn’t actually write any novel.)

Are you a creative Catholic? "The Catholicpunk Manifesto" is my new book exhorting Catholics to apply their faith to change the culture for the better!

Know someone, perhaps yourself, who might like Catholic devotionals for alcoholics? Please take a look at my books! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)